Evening Personalities Target Trump's Latest 'Gold Card' Immigration Scheme

TV's leading entertainers used the broadcast criticizing ex-President Donald Trump's recently announced immigration initiative, called the "gold card," describing it as a clear cash-for-residency arrangement for the wealthy.

The Late Show's Pointed Take

Starting his program, Stephen Colbert presented a mock holiday song about the commander-in-chief. "He's making a list, checking it twice, then giving that list to the agents at ICE," he intoned. "The President ... spoils everything he touches."

The focus was the new initiative which allows international individuals to purchase U.S. residence for a sum of one million dollars, with a "platinum" option for five million. A government website promises processing "in record time."

"One note here to rich immigrants: before you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert remarked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "squeeze cash" from firms wishing to hire skilled workers, with hefty payments. "That's a lot of fees, but if you enroll, you also get a complimentary stay at a property of your choice – as long as it's the Tampa Marriott Bonvoy," he said.

"The most thorough background check the government has before done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to verify these people absolutely qualify to be in America."

"That is important, you gotta prove you're qualified to be an American," Colbert responded. "Question one: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Blistering Commentary

On his late-night program, Jimmy Kimmel labeled the initiative the "American Dream Express Card."

"It's a card that will let affluent overseas citizens to live here," he said. "For a million dollars, you get legal resident status, you get a road to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one serious crime of your selection."

"It might be time to update that poem on the Statue of Liberty – forget about your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he added.

Kimmel lampooned the brevity of the application, noting it is "tougher to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a steak."

"Exactly, the finest people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle if you pay the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

Elsewhere, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's slipping poll ratings during economic anxiety. "The public gave Donald Trump a second term since they were angry about the economy," he explained.

This week, in a bid to tackle affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a selection of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to some cereal.

"These look great, I think I'm going to take some of them back to my home and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a ages."

"He is so extremely weird," Meyers reacted. "What do you mean, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What's the plan with those Cheerios?"

Meyers wrapped up by targeting right-leaning news arguments of Trump's economic performance. "Perhaps rather than voicing concerns, you should give him a sparkling trophy similar to the one FIFA did," he remarked.